


Monkey business

by Minne_My



Category: The Worst Witch (TV 2017)
Genre: Animals, F/F, Magic, Underwear, Witches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:54:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26459035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minne_My/pseuds/Minne_My
Summary: Enid's monkey cat causes trouble
Relationships: Ada Cackle/Hecate Hardbroom
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	Monkey business

_Enid’s cat seemed to be lacking something. It wasn’t dexterous enough with its paws. It wasn’t curious enough. It didn’t share the same adventurous spirit as his mistress. The answer seemed to be to turn it into another species entirely._

The monkey cat was in her eyeline. Mildred tried to walk slowly towards it but it dodged her and scampered off in the direction of the potions lab. Dammit. Mildred rushed to the door and hoped she could get hold of it before anyone could catch her, felt a rush of air behind her and knew the game was up. Miss Hardbroom’s hiss of annoyance whistled through her ears. Or the space between her ears, as the potions teacher had specified last week.

‘Mil-dred Hub-ble. What are you doing skulking around my classroom at break time?’

Mildred didn’t know why Miss Hardbroom couldn’t just speak like a normal person. Then she thought that if she’d walked with a stick up her bottom, she might sound like that too. This diffused the normal dread she felt when HB addressed her and she felt the inappropriate urge to giggle. She was just about to blag it when a crash rang from the classroom. Miss Hardbroom’s expression morphed to terrifying horror and swept into the room. Ingredients were scattered across a worktop and a cauldron was overturned.

‘Do you know anything about this?’

‘No Miss Hardbroom.’

It was technically the truth. Mildred could practically see the steam coming out of her ears. She braced herself for the explosion but shuffling footsteps punctuated the moment.

‘Miss Hardbroom, can I pick your brains about something?’

Hecate bundled the unfortunate student out of the room. Mildred kept her mouth shut.

‘Yes headmistress?’

Ada beamed and greeted Mildred. She was about to start when the door creaked open just enough to reveal a creature of the like that had never seen before at Cackle’s Academy. It stopped and looked at them. They froze and looked back at it. The stare-off continued for several seconds, the only movement being Miss Hardbroom’s slowly clenching hands. She could sniff magic gone wrong from a mile away.

‘Mil-dred Hub-ble’ she started.

Oh no. Mildred didn’t think she could handle yet another rendition of that.

‘It’s not mine, Miss Hardbroom’ she butted in. ‘It’s not my size.’

She was subjected to The Stare. Mildred stood her ground. Neither the creature or the object it was carrying was hers.

‘Well I can’t have monkeys let loose around the school’ said Ada. ‘If any of the other students see it, they’ll all want one.’

Miss Hardbroom seemed to be signalling to her with her eyes. Mildred watched, fascinated as Miss Cackle extended a lemon drop to the monkey and it jumped up to get it. She looked calm and collected as she gathered the monkey on her hip.

‘Perhaps you’d like to find out who owns this article of clothing?’ She said innocently, unhooking the black lacy knickers from the monkey’s head. It had been wearing it like a balaclava. Mildred struggled to stifle the laugh she knew she was going to disgrace herself with. HB looked like she was about to blow a gasket but she knew and Mildred knew and Ada knew that it was hers. And Mildred had a feeling how Ada knew it was hers.

‘I’ve got to…ok bye’ she blurted out and ran. She knew Ada would summon her later to ask about the monkey. She was going to pay for giving into laughter. It bounced off the walls and drilled into HB’s brain and only the thought of the students finding out that Hecate and Ada spent more time than was necessary in the potions lab after hours, stopped her from stamping a months’ worth of detentions on her most vexing student.

*********************************************************************************************************************

‘What shall we do?’

Ada told her to stop pacing the room as she leisurely fed the monkey a jam tart.

‘There’s no need to panic. I can think of worse things to happen.’

Hecate stopped pacing. Looked at her wife in agonised confusion.

‘Like what?’

They looked at the monkey who was chomping away with a pink bra on its head. If ever a monkey did not need earmuffs, it was now.

‘Why is it wearing your bra?’

‘It dived into the laundry pile so I let it keep it for now.’

A knock on the door made Hecate jump. She strode over to the door and opened it with an irritated bark.

‘What?!’

Dimity grinned, hoping the rumour she’d heard about a monkey and some knickers was not just a rumour. She’d grabbed some paperwork on the way for an excuse. She bet she knew whose knickers it was.

‘Let’s just focus on finding out whose monkey it is’ Ada was saying behind her. Dimity walked in and put the paperwork on the far side of the desk.

‘Just going to put that there…’

‘Are you sure Mildred didn’t just turn Ethel into another animal?’ Said Hecate suspiciously.

Dimity was amused to see that not only the knickers were nearby _(black lace, Hecate you saucy minx)_ but it was wearing a pink bra on its head and scoffing the last jam tart.

‘It can’t be Ethel, she’s got no sense of humour. She wouldn’t have…’

She trailed off when they both turned to look at her. Dimity got the feeling she may have put her foot in it this time.

‘I think it’s more likely that it’s another student, like…Enid’ she said.

They looked at it again.

‘You think this is Enid’ said Hecate cautiously.

‘I was thinking more like Enid’s familiar. I’m pretty sure I saw Enid not too long ago.’

‘It does seem like it might be more Enid’s sense of humour’ said Ada, slowly. ‘Maybe we should ask her to make an identification.’

Dimity was unprepared for them to actually take her suggestion seriously.

‘Bring Mildred’ instructed Hecate.

‘It’s probably not her’ said Dimity.

Hecate glared at her. Dimity realised the real reason for the command and went to get them. Obviously HB wanted the matter of her underwear hushed up and the kids needed to be sworn to secrecy.

Enid gasped when she saw the monkey on Miss Cackle’s desk. The teachers exchanged glances. That was easy. For once it wasn’t Mildred Hubble. Ada requested that Enid explain the monkey. Hecate turned it back into a cat. Mildred accepted Enid’s apology with good grace. Ada proposed a punishment. Only Mildred had noticed the flash of pink bra peeking out from a drawer.

‘I’m sure you won’t make a habit of it in future’ said Miss Hardbroom, eyes boring into the kids. Mildred understood what that meant. She wasn’t allowed to tell anyone about the article of clothing that the monkey cat had unearthed. They acquiesced. They turned to leave and Mildred caught Dimity’s eye, the twitch of her mouth. _She knew._

Mildred was in a good mood for the rest of the day.


End file.
